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And then she bent down, lowering her voice to a mere whisper.
"We tell the children never to leave when the ghosts are out, for fear that their souls may be stolen if they anger the gods...but one time...I did go out. I must have been twelve or eleven at that time. I snuck out of my home and went to the lake even though the warning bell had already sounded and I saw them! I swear to it on my own life. I saw them. With the marks in the middle of their foreheads. They lingered on the lake like mist, but I could see them! And count them! Thirty. I saw with my own young eyes. Thirty."
Thirty of heaven's finest warriors...
Chopsticks fell to the wooden floor.
"Hakkai, what's wrong with you today?"
...who disappeared without a trace.
Chapter 5: Bitter sweet
Author's note: I think I indulged a bit. Anyway, it's been a rough week ^_^ I deserve a bit of indulgence.
Saiyuki: Through The Looking Glass
Chapter 5
Rating: PG13...still...
****
A pointless sunset, Hakkai thought as he paused in his shelving in order to gaze outside Tenpou's library window. But beautiful nonetheless. As beautiful as a porcelain doll. Again, a meaningless image without even a shadow of a soul.
Yes, but beautiful still...eternally so.
Shafts of wine-red light streamed into the study, warming the ever aging yet never rotting wood. It shined on rich mahogany, making it glow like dying embers in the red twilight. His body liked it. Felt at home, though the mind did not- despite the pang of bittersweet amusement that played upon his memory.
/We always wanted a library. Just like this one. Sort of. Less war literature for the sake of the kids. It wasn't really something for them to think about. To keep in the back of their minds, yes. A constant preoccupation, no. /
Flipping through pages, opening books where bookmarks were left, organizing papers. A cup of wine on his desk. Very good. Very sweet. The ashtray put aside never to be used. /As long as I'm here/. Pulling out and skimming texts, re-rolling undone scrolls. A life he was supposed to have lived as Cho Gonou. Teacher. He figured, also, that as long as he kept himself shut in Tenpou's study, he could keep fantasizing about it. Keep some veil of normalcy over his two good eyes. This was safe.
Then a voice drifted through the shutters and he peeked out. Was that-across the courtyard-but it couldn't be-oh yes it could...
"Konzen! Konzen! Look! I went to the field today and got you flowers. Bright gold, like your hair, ne?" Goku was jumping, chains around his neck and wrists clanking about as the unmistakable diadem gleamed in the sunset. "Are we gonna visit Ten-chan?"
"Not now." A deep voice. Controlled and firm. The mark of someone not even attempting to hide obvious boredom. "Go play with Kenren or something and let. me. work." A flicker of light caught Konzen's eye. He turned his head: Tenpou's library. /The idiot's locked himself in again/.
In said room, Hakkai leaned against the wall tiredly and sunk down, grabbing the nearest book, one he had forgotten to shelf for lack of any fitting space. Again, went to the bookmark:
"Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself." Worthless book. Stupid human.
He laughed mirthlessly, shook his head, and in a justified act of frustration, Hakkai slammed the covers shut and violently sent hefty volume careening to the other side of the otherwise uncluttered library.
/His library/; which a few hours ago looked as if a bomb had dropped inside. Clean now, save for one book out of place.
If time had any relevance here, he would have estimated being here for a good eleven hours, give or take a few. Hakkai closed his eyes, basking in the security of darkness which had never failed him ever since that day. Oblivion was a good thing. Yes, a very good thing. Then...the creaking of the door.
"Oi, Tenpouuu!"
Oh god.
Footsteps.
Hakkai furrowed his eyebrows in annoyance and sunk deeper into his bookshelf enclave as if privation of words, privation of breath, privation of thought and privation of sight would make him disappear. Privation of person. If only.
***
Tenpou didn't answer the door. Not like he ever did, so Kenren just waltzed right on it and nearly died of a heart attack. The place was clean. Impeccably clean. Not a single book out of place...save for one. Not one paper out of file. Not a speck of dust. Maybe he took a wrong turn, he thought. This was not Tenpou's room.
But sure enough, he found the marshal in his usual spot- in the nook between the war history of this century and the war history of that. Right on the border separating two different eras, but to Kenren it was all the same. War was war after all.
Hmmm...sleeping. Tenpou's brown hair was slightly disheveled, falling across his eyes and face. "Ten-chan." he said a bit more endearingly, saw the flinch at the corner of his eyes.
Gotcha.
Without further adieu, he was by the other man's side. Whispering in his ear, Kenren said, "You, Tenpou Gensui, are the worst liar I've ever met." So with that, took hold the marshal's chin and leaned forward to claim the waiting mouth...
But soon found himself in a gentle liplock with "Brave New World" by an author he didn't bother to know. Nor did he care, especially now.
"And you, Kenren Taishou, are the most persistent hound I've ever met." retorted Hakkai as he hid his face behind the book, only daring to reveal his twin emerald eyes. "Don't you ever tire of this?"
The raven-haired man backed off and sat cross-legged in front of him. He scratched the back of his head, his smile never faltering. "Not if you keep playing hard to get like that."
"I am not playing hard to get." The book was tentatively lowered, but remained poised in the event of another attack. "I'm playing 'not going to get,' Gojyo, so if you would just-"
"Gojyo?" The general quirked his head to the side.
Hakkai bit his lip and quickly amended, despite the futility of it all. "Kenren."
"You said 'Gojyo'."
"I said 'Kenren'."
"You *meant* 'Kenren' but it sure as *hell* didn't come out that way."
The healer had just to say it, regardless of all compulsion not to...
"Jealous?" He tilted his head to the side inquiringly as Kenren squirmed under his gaze until finally, he gathered up his wits to spit out a flat-
"No."
...just for the sake of seeing how much the general was in love with Tenpou.
The temptation to just let things be was overwhelming. This was (theoretically speaking) Tenpou's problem, not Hakkai's. But Hakkai was right here, right now, being stared down by the previous incarnation of the man he was in love with.
There. He admitted it to himself. He had grown attached to the half-breed- a habit from three years past turned into a hunger gnawing at him whenever they were alone together. Hakkai felt the same hunger now, but his mind kept him from it. The body screamed for it. And the heart...which was not Hakkai's heart, but Tenpou's...seemed to ache ever so slightly from god-knows-how-many-centuries of cold imprisonment by a mind constantly in denial. Who to satisfy? Hakkai didn't know, and all he could do was stare as Kenren broke out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up. He offered one to Hakkai.
